 Online Poker Rigged Scandal Solved
The online gambling industry has been hit hard this week after rumors a major online poker room might be cheating their players. The allegations involve everything from a Super User account that can be used to see all players down cards (so long as their not using a Kryptonite Hard Drive) to rumors of a disgruntled former card room employee using a NL Holdem genie to grant his every wish (The player still loses at Fixed Limit because no genies exist outside of the NL sector). When interviewed about the allocation an employee of the card room in question said that the allegations are absurd and that 999 out of every 1000 players can not see their opponents down cards. When asked how one could be lucky enough to join the elite club of the 0.01% with the privilege the interviewee was directed to the VIP section of the website. The player who had conducted this interview was highly disappointed to find that the maximum VIP reward he could find on the site was 26” LCD monitor, no mention of the said down card viewer could be found.
As if this was not enough the industry was hit with a much larger blow regarding sports betting. This week several absolute mortal locks such as the Saints over the Bucks, the colts -7 over the Titans and the Bengals moneyline all lost, plus we seen other near locks (certainly plays of the week all go down). Rumors began surfacing on a popular forum, whose site name adds up to 4, that these games must be rigged. At first the officials were blamed, then the teams themselves. Others tried linking the down card viewer (slash super user account) scandal at poker to this obvious NFL fix.
While it seemed like a stretch to link the two scandals together at first we at CZZ Sports News were shocked to learn that the two are very likely related. Early this morning Joe Smith of Vegas Bookies 711 (the company who sets betting lines for near the entire industry) was caught red handed by federal authorities entering his time machine while holding a sports almanac. While it’s yet to be confirmed there are now rumors that he is also behind the online poker scandal. It’s believed Mr Smith was playing hands in advanced dumping lots of chips and would head back in time to gain information on how to play the hands differently. While this is pure speculation it is likely Mr. Smith knew his winning streak in sports betting would soon be discovered as it was open to a much wider audience, but he figured he could move from poker room to poker room and with thousands of tables to chose from he could skim plenty of cash along they way while going undetected. Poker and Sports betting enthusiasts will be happy to know that if convicted of conspiracy to commit gambling related crimes while using time travel he could find himself locked up for a minimum of 15 years and a maximum of 40.
It is a dark day for the entire gambling industry, once we regroup here and over come this depressed state we are in we will report more on this story.
Update: John Martin, CEO of leading online casino, Lucky Dragon Ace 10, said we are thrilled that the online poker and sports betting industries were finally exposed for the shams they are. We here have always avoided these products and want to let our clients know that we still pay 1.5 on a winning black jack and do not (nor have we ever nor will we in the future ever) employ any form of time travel in our operations.
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Good post!
Definetely been doing alot of reading
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